I’d like to talk about transportation today. It’s kind of a weird thing to me because not 6 months ago the extent of my movement was basically flexing my fingers and seeing how my mom’s ribs worked as soccer balls (not very well by the way). So here’s a quick list of transportation that I put together.

1) So most people move by putting 1 leg in front of the other. WAY too complicated. Let’s face it, it’s hard to balance on one leg while you’re trying to move the other.

2) I’ve seen some kids who are a little older move on all fours, this seems pretty efficient, you’re using every limb you have to propel yourself forward…the problem I see with this is that backing up looks pretty difficult. I’d rather not even try it.

Both of the downsides of these two make me a big advocate of the third:

3) Rolling. I’m WAY into rolling lately. You can go forward just as easily as backward. You can go OVER objects instead of around or dodging them. You can go pretty fast across the room. It’s fun. We have a dog, and usually when walking or crawling you have to jump over the dog or go over the dog, or go around the dog, but with rolling the DOG has to jump over YOU. Really, I don’t see a downside to rolling and I don’t think I’m going to try to fix something that’s not broken.

“My how I’VE grown”???? All I hear from people is how big I’ve gotten. I don’t understand, I mean, really I JUST got back from the Dr. and he said I weighed 15 pounds and 20 some inches long…I’m sorry but the people who say how big I am have to be at least twice that size! I’m not saying I mind the attention but let’s face it, if you’re gonna talk about how BIG people are, maybe those people should go to the Dr. so he/she can tell them how big THEY’VE gotten.  Seriously, all these people have to be over 3 feet tall (that’s almost a meter for all my UK readers…yes, I know I’m a baby but I also know there’s a whole other world out there).

For those of you who were waiting for me to write for a long time, I just want to say that I forgot to write something after mother’s day (it was a pretty busy day) and I didn’t want to write around father’s day just in-case people might think I was picking favorites. When it comes to my favorite as far as my parents go I have to say I DO have one. But i’d never say on this blog, just because  my parents might read this. But just between you and me, let’s just say my favorite also feeds me (shhh, don’t tell, I have a feeling that my least favorite will have something I want down the line).

And since this also happened since I last wrote, I’d like to congratulate the Detroit Red Wings on winning the cup! I’m so happy that such a great team could share my birth year to celebrate their winning too.

Wow what a weekend. I’m finally getting the hang of this NHL thing. I’m really getting into watching hockey with my dad. But, everyone says hockey is a “low-scoring” game…I guess that was true for the team playing against the Red WIngs, but it sure seemed like the Wings scored a lot.

Also, it’s been about 70 degrees here lately…I was born in January and it was snowing when I was born. I’m not really used to this kind of heat. I’m not exactly sure what “summer” is but I’m really hoping it means it’s going to get colder again.

It was my 3 month birthday on Thursday, which is why I didn’t write any sooner. I was going to, but I had a lot of milk to drink in celebration and was sleeping for what seemed like days.

Well, here’s hoping that summer means cold because I am WAY too sweaty to keep writing this. Between the heat from my laptop and the heat in this room, I think I’m done for today.

I really have to apologize for not writing sooner. I know how long it’s been so quit calling my parents and complaining. Here’s the deal, my dad has totally been hogging the computer…something about drawing or supporting his family or something. I don’t know why it takes so much more to support me, I only weigh like 12 pounds.

Let me catch everyone up on what’s been going on. 1st I took my first road trip…it was 2 HOURS!!! it was SOOOO long. I got to go see my grandparents down south. I don’t know how far south it was because I haven’t seen a map yet. All I know is it seemed to take forever so i had to cry to let my parents know how much I hated it. That was a week ago.

2nd I’ve been watching the NHL playoffs with my dad. I know this is fun because he shouts and screams almost as loud as me when I need a diaper change. My dad roots for this team called the Red Wings and since they had the best record in the league the year I was born they may as well be my favorite too.

Lastly I’d just like to say what a great job my mom is doing. I keep trying to throw her for loops with my “schedule” but let’s face it, she’s been around longer than me and probably knows the tricks. She takes me grocery shopping sometimes…that’s fun because there’s a bunch of bright lights and things beeping.

Anyway, I think I’m going to take a nap now…my fingers aren’t that big yet and typing is a lot more difficult for an 82 day old than you may think.

Phew, what a day. Yesterday was my 2 month birthday and, as if that wasn’t enough of a milestone, my parents decided to kick me out! No, not out of the house. What are you thinking, I’m a BABY! They kicked me out of their room. I was in a little bassinet at the foot of their bed, but last night I fell asleep and next thing I know, I’m awake in my very own room. This place is pretty sweet, let me tell ya. It’s got pictures of Disney™ characters and a bunch of mouse ears all over the place like polka-dots….is it polka-dots or poka-dots? I don’t know, I’m just a baby….cut me some slack.

Anyway, long term plans involve knocking out the back wall to make room for a plasma and maybe some sort of jetted-tub in the back corner. I’d also like to get a fridge with one of those water dispensers, except instead of water I’d hook it up so it gave me milk. My goal is to get on MTV cribs…by the way, that crib slang really threw me for a few days.

WHAT JUST HAPPENED???? So I go to this guy…the doctor. He seems really nice, but then the next thing you know they STICK ME WITH A NEEDLE!!!!! I’m totally serious…a needle! Who does that? Who sticks a piece of sharp metal into a baby!!!!???

This guy seemed pretty nice before but I’m really starting to wonder about him. I’m making it known right now that if something should happen to me you need to investigate this guy “the doctor”, IF that is his real name.

Well that should do it. I’m all potty trained today. Now I know this may sound like a shock to you adults, but to all the infants out there, they know exactly what I’m talking about. Yeah, sure I could let my parents know when I needed to go to the bathroom and I could hold it, but I’ve got a good thing going here. I can poop whenever I want, pee whenever I want and someone else has to clean it up. Think about how awesome that is. Why would I want to give that up? So I pretend like there’s nothing I can do about it, and every now and then, I pee on them just to reinforce it. Maybe when I’m a little older I’ll let them know just so they can save some money on diapers and buy me a car in about 15 years. 

Why does it seem like everythings happening about an hour sooner that it should?

Well it was another milestone for me today. I graduated from the newborn diapers to size 1. It’s official, I think I’m getting old. I’m going through some kind of 1/75th life crisis. All of a sudden I want to get something pierced or tattooed. The problem is you need your parents permission when you’re this young and somehow that defeats the purpose. I’m thinking about getting one of those souped up, Japanese sports strollers, and maybe cruise by the maternity ward to pick up some younger chicks. Speaking of size 1 diapers, I think I just filled mine. Time to get Mom’s attention. 

I’m coming to the realization that my parents have no idea what they are doing. I’ve looked around (for the few seconds I can lift my own head) and I haven’t seen any other babies around here. I don’t think these people have ever even handled another baby. Don’t get me wrong, they seem really nice but when I start crying it’s like they don’t even get what I want. I’m wet, they stick a boob in my mouth, I’m hungry and they change my diaper. It’s like, c’mon people! If I’m off base here let me know, I just think if people are going to take care of babies they should know what they’re doing.

Well, it’s been about 3 hours since I last slept and I’m seriously tired. I think I’ll go to sleep for 20 minutes and then wake up again. More later.